I have a confession to make.
I AM ADDICTED TO BRAVO.
Pretty much anyone who knows me knows my obsession with all things Housewives or @bravoandy or Jeff Lewis because I constantly watch (and re-watch) episodes, quote the episodes incessantly and seem bewildered when everyone looks at me like a confused dog.
It’s the end of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and I’ve watched the reunion 3 times! #ineedtherapy #LAShrinks I blame my mother because she records everything on Bravo and keeps it. I swear, she has things on there from 2008! My parents had to get a 2nd DVR because my dad was getting upset he couldn’t watch sports because the DVR was recording Real Housewives of Orange County and Dance Moms at the same time. But, I have to admit, whenever I go home all I want to do is sit in front of the TV with my mom and sister and watch old reunions or episodes. It’s therapeutic. How can these women be so crazy?
Here are some of my all-time favorite Bravo moments (Kim, I’m looking at you):
1. Scary Island – Real Housewives of New York City, Season 3
This one is my my all-time favorite. I swear I’ve seen it probably 35 times. I just love it. I love that KKB (Kelly Killoren Bensimon) goes to get jelly beans because she’s upset…but, hey, she has an 18th-century chandelier on a pulley!! I love that KKB cries when Bethenny gets her a ‘Welcome Package’ that has some Skinnygirl stuff. Geeze, I guess Kelly is okay looking a linebacker?! I love that Ramona wants Pinot Grigio always. I love that Bethenny flips out on KKB. I love that KKB thinks Bethenny can’t cook but then eats the meal Bethenny prepared. It doesn’t make sense, that’s why I love it!
2. Dinner Party from Hell – Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season 1
This one makes me feel like I was just hit by a bus. Faye Resnick is a horrible human being – #TeamBrandi – and who the ‘h’ wishes a person’s children will go missing?!
3. Naked Wasted – Real Housewives of Orange County, Season 4
“We’re going to get Gretchen naked wasted!” – Tamra Barney….what does that mean? I want to go to there!
4. She took the bow off my cake and ate it – Real Housewives of Orange County, Season 7
This one is one of my favorites because a) who cares about a cake….unless it’s my wedding b) I can’t believe middle-aged women get that drunk (see favorite moment #3) and c) I experienced a similar situation in real life. I went to a party with my aunt once. She could seriously be a Real Housewife of Chicago (cough, cough Andy Cohen) and her friends were all having a great time to celebrate a wedding anniversary and my cousin’s 16th birthday. Well…one of the neighbors cut a piece of cake before it was presented. OH HELL TO THE NO, BLONK! Everyone wanted to throw out this dreadful person from the party, but instead, in retaliation, went to her house and rearranged her lawn ornaments (classy) into sexual positions. And this was one year ago…
5. Prostitution Whore table flip – Real Housewives of New Jersey, Season 1
This is the last one. As a person with a little Italian decent, New Jersey is not a true depiction of how Italians act. If I behaved this way, my 100% Italian grandmother would slap me across the face! But, when Teresa Guidice flips a table at Danielle Staub for lying, changing her name, being involved in prostitution and sleeping with married men! It was glorious!
I have a Mazel sweatshirt from WWHL (Watch What Happens Live), have read Andy Cohen’s book and own several Bravo shows on DVD. I don’t care what this says about me – I LOVE BRAVO!
I leave you with the greatest WWHL episode: thank you, Andy Cohen!